Midwifing this book into the world has truly pushed the boundaries of my faith, ability, and spiritual practice. It has been a strange torture to push pause on my blog and podcast as this causes me to feel like a flunky who is now inconsistent or who has lost pace with work that I've done for a decade with few interruptions. This pressurizes my internal gravity of working on this book.

When I sit down to write, I am often filled with clarity and inspiration and I get so excited about what is coming. Then I go back and read it later, and I'm so self critical and doubtful that I cannibalize some of the content, which sets up a psychological dissonance when I have time to sit and write again. Do I use this time to plod on? Or is this all just a waste? Who even cares about this stuff anyway? People care about TikTok videos now... and in comes the self-pity.

Then I return to the quiet mornings of prayer and contemplation, reading sacred text, and inspired authors, and I realize that I have to tap into that stream which is flowing. Like carrying a pot of boiling pasta to the colander in the sink, I try and transport what boils and sift out all the empty steam.

In my effort to say more and speak less, I have now condensed four chapters into two which flow much better together. I'm stitching metaphor and story in where I can and striving to spare the reader too much of my professorial tendencies to over-explain every detail.

It would mean a lot to me if you would pray for me. Tapping this source and bringing this important and timely message to the world is so much more than just a writing exercise. It is stretching every aspect of who I am and I feel a tremendous spiritual headwind which is like few I've experienced. This work exposes the existential and ontological realities which are punctuated in my very real refusal to be my self. As I tip toe, beyond my limitations, I experience more freedom which make me less safe in the fictional world. The closer I get, the greater this sense of resistance. Thanks for surrounding me with encouragement, hope, and your prayers.

more...much more to come.

thanks for being with me in this journey.

k

If a picture is worth 1000 words, this series is worth half a picture. These are 500 word, contemplative videos, where I speak less but say more with pictures. 

Put on your headphones, become present, and watch these contemplatively.