"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are."~Kurt
Cobain
Versions of our self
Why is there so much advice about how we need to find our self, or be true to our self, or to know and be our real self?
Some see the focus on the self as a selfish endeavor. While I think most people share a
disdain for arrogance and selfishness, I think this perspective is missing something. Even in scripture we are taught that the preservation of the self is through a paradox of serving others and giving our lives away. So even in this example selflessness could be seen as being selfish. Isn't the idea of Heaven about self-preservation in most people's minds?
As we grow up we try on different versions of our self in an attempt to find one that fits. These are mostly false selves that have a kernel of the authentic inside.
The friendly self wants to be
liked.
The confident self wants to control.
The religious self is afraid or seeks power.
The hard working self is always seeking one
day.
The distracted or anesthetized self is in pain.
It is rarely mentioned how the notion of the self is a transcendent pursuit. Yet those who find it are always talking about authenticity, or being real, and isn't ULTIMATE REALITY in the realm of theology and philosophy?
The wisest people have all advocated for us to find
some time each day to focus on this authentic pursuit of the transcendent. Be it meditation, or contemplative prayer, or quiet reflection, we each need to be still and listen--to seek.
If you are like me then it will take great effort to be still and quiet.
It is hard not to let the thoughts suck you in. The emotions are so loud and distracting, each one is motivating some immediate action. The ego is so needy-don't feed it.
When you get to this place in your stillness,
keep seeking the thing behind the thing. If you do, you will meet something far greater than your self, and as a bonus, you will become authentic.
k
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We all have our vices. There is something in all of our
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Keven Winder, PhD For coaching, questions or comments: keven@repotnow.com
