There are some problems in life that really need to be overcome. Yet, the persistence of some problems is actually better for us than their eradication. So how do we know the difference?

The answer lies in how we define our problems. A person can have a problem with alcohol, food, sex, control, money, emotions or relationships that is actually killing them physically, emotionally, relationally or spiritually. The greater the effects of this "dying" the more people will define our problem as something that needs attention.

However, if the "dying" that results from our problem is subtle or gradual, the more likely we are to avoid it. I meet so many sincere and well meaning people who are striving after something nobel while aspects of their life go into "hospice."

The reality is that we all neglect key aspects of living. We tell ourselves we don't have time. We tell ourselves we will attend to it later-like flossing. We all know we need to floss regularly, but we tell ourselves a story instead, and we suffocate aspects of our living. 

Thus our problems are not ever what we think they are. We thought our cavity, or weight gain, or disconnection with our spouse, or our debt was about something on the outside, but in fact it was something deep on the inside. It was the lie we told ourselves that we believed was true.

In my book "Getting Better When You Can't" I prove that All problems are truth problems. They are either about something we don't yet know (apprehension of truth) or something we avoid doing (application of truth).

Problems leak into our self story while we are distracted by what we think are bigger fish to fry. Usually it is the pursuit of something in the future, or it is the escape from something in the past.

The work of all spirituality is to ground us into the present moment. This is not just "a presence" but "God's presence." God is outside of time and exists nowhere else but in an eternal now. If we are honest and still and quiet, this amazing, benevolent presence will allow the real problems to bubble to the surface where we can face them and be changed.

Perhaps the most spiritual thing we can ever do is something small like floss our teeth. Spirituality trains us to win on the inside and then the outside takes care of itself.  Thus our problems don't lead to death, but coach us to life. (1 John 5:17)

The greatest problem of all is to avoid this internal work. Thus ensuring a life of ever increasing avoidance, or a perpetual missing of the present moment: presence.