Greetings!
I wanted to pause from the regular newsletter format in order to say thanks. We all live under an avalanche of emails and I'm thankful that you are willing to open up some of mine.
I don't often admit this, but every now and then I make the mistake of comparing myself to others and inevitably I start feeling sorry for myself. I think this is something that is easy to do
in our world of success orientation,(which is all bullshit BTW). Nonetheless I succumb sometimes even though I'm convinced nothing good ever follows a pity party. In these times we must get over ourselves quickly or our pity turns toxic. It's a humbling process. Thank God for it.
I'm a perpetual student. I love learning and I always feel like I can learn from anybody. So I'm always singing up for seminars, webinars, buying books, reading posts, listening to
podcasts, or whatever. I feel like each endeavor builds me and brings me closer to.......(and this is where the wheels fall of the cart).
........closer to What?
What am I pursuing? What am I doing?
If I truly sit with these questions, I thankfully land in a good place. But the process in my head goes something like
this:
"I must be the most stupid guy in the world. I am trying to get people to think way deeper than most of them actually want to or probably need to. I'm imposing my psychosis on others, I should just shut my pie-hole. From a marketing perspective, I must be a laughing stock. I'd be better off starting a business selling sheepskin telephone book covers or pre-filled
waterbeds."
In my
newsletters I am extremely cognizant of my diverse audience that is literally all over the map. Young, old, conservative, liberal, religious, atheistic, academic, sophomoric, connected, indifferent, apathetic, passionately motivated.
The fact that none of us possess all the
Truth means that a vital way to test if something is true is whether we are disappointed by it. The Truth cannot be as we think it should be because it contains perspectives that we don't yet believe are true. This disappoints our pride and certainty. I have learned to flow with this disappointment rather than resist it. I in turn put this in my newsletters knowing that it will disappoint you. All the experts agree, this is the worst thing to do if I want to build my distribution
list. But
It's worth it to me to disappoint you if in the end you gain a wider perspective of the Truth.
Despite the diversity, what all draws us together is the experience of exile. As Richard Rohr says we all go through a three step process: 1. Structure 2. Deconstruction 3. Reconstruction. The exile (desert) is phase two. We call it postmodernism and all kinds of other things, but it is
the place of sobering aridity that emerges after we have outgrown the limits of church and state and realize that a better world exists if we commit ourselves to reform it.
I love hearing about how this newsletter is helping people who have left the garden (form), to thrive in the desert (deformation) on their way to an amazing city (reform). What touches me most are the folks who somehow stumble upon this content and are so
grateful for its existence. This is the moment I get the answer to my above questions. I forget that an online ministry has a global presence. The problem with self-pity is myopia.
.........this is why I'm doing this. People are what I am pursuing. I don't want a single thing. I simply want to do this. And guess, what? I am. Wow!
So this is why I wanted to pause and say thanks. Thank you
to the person who is finally honest and brave enough to step away from the herd,
despite its immense pressure, and pursue an authentic and fulfilled life. Thank you to all of you who have helped me learn that this tiny little
newsletter is not and never will be a job, but is an
immense privilege to serve and connect with people
who inspire me onward.
My story is that I left a local church that was perpetually stuck at 150 people so that I could serve a larger and more diverse audience. These words will be seen by thousands of people in many countries (look at the stats from a recent post). No these numbers are not newsworthy, but when I consider the alternative of staying in the system, It's unbelievable and very humbling.
I never want to be the guy who is
only thankful once he has reached the world's level of success. I want to express gratitude for the narrow niche of mindful people who I'm lucky enough to serve. You are why I do this every week.
May you have the courage to leave any institution that gives you an existence in exchange for your life. May the integrity that called you out continue to be a clear and leading voice in your exile, and may you experience the family reunion that awaits
you on the other side of the desert.
Have a great week and thanks again for helping others know about this
newsletter.
k
